Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
