That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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