I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
