Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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