Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
