My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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