Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
