my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
