Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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