It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
