the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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