Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
