I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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