I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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