I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
