You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
