Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
