Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
