Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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