Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
