Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
