**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
