suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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