If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
