At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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