don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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