DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
