I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
