you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
