Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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