You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
