He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
