I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
