a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
home. puking in laundry basket.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
