this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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