Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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