just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
