so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
