let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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