i permit you to call me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
