he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
