3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
