Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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