she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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