Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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