i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Found your dick twin last night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
