So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
