Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
