What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
