No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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