Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
