ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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