Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
